Feb 212012

“The personal is political.” Feminism 101, right? I get it now. Pussies have gone political. Somehow this labia surgery has taken on a whole ‘pseudo-controversy’ life of its own. say goodbye to these labia

There is lots of chatter and commentary (in the media and blog world)  lately about labiaplasty or labia reduction. It seems to be catching on as a cosmetic procedure, especially in the US, UK, and Australia. There’s also lots of backlash…so much talk about how as women we must be loving and accepting of our bodies, we’re all different, we’re all normal, we don’t like the way we look because of too much ‘fake’ porn, blahblahblah. Somehow, nobody feels comfortable expressing approval of this procedure unless it’s qualified with “but it’s okay if you’re doing it for practical reasons…”

I call bullshit. Yes, the reality is that aside from appearance, my labia are a real pain the pussy. They are in the way during sex. They get pulled on at inopportune times; caught between my vagina and cock, fingers, or toys. They get twisted in my panties. They get pinched if I wear tight jeans. They show through a bathing suit. Hell, they’d show through a sheer dress if I went commando. “This must be what it’s like to have balls,” I’ve often thought. So yes, there are other considerations, but as I commented on this post yesterday, I’ve dealt with all of those issues for years. The real reason I’m having the surgery is that I don’t like the way I look.

And so the fuck what if it is?

this always reminds me of a tongue sticking out :p

I agree that women shouldn’t feel ashamed of our bodies, but I also think that I shouldn’t be made to feel bad for not liking my body the way it is. I go to the gym because I don’t want to be fat. I wear sunscreen because I don’t want to have wrinkles. I had braces because my teeth were crooked, and (guess what??) I didn’t like the way they looked (gasp)! People have nose jobs because they don’t like the way their perfectly normal noses look. I don’t see a big ‘nose job backlash’ going on.

My labia are large. I have always disliked them. They get in the way. I’m doing something about it and it feels good. I can’t fucking wait.

Feb 182012

I’m counting down to my surgery – FOUR DAYS!! Have I mentioned how excited I am??

This surgery isn’t my first ‘pussy procedure,’ though.  About twenty years ago, I decided, “Well, if I’m going to have these giant labia, I should be proud of them.” I called my friend the midwife and asked what she thought about piercing one for me (This was just before the rise of body piercing professionals and studios). What she thought about it was that I was absolutely crazy. I then explained (and cajoled): “They’re just there. Like earlobes. Why not??” She finally gave in. I went to her office and she pierced me, inserted the jewelry, and made me promise never to tell anyone. I felt like I had a sexy secret in my panties  for years, and then a couple of years ago, I just tired of it. I took the jewelry out. My lips went back to being unremarkable, except for their size.

no pictures remain of my pierced pussy

And now, here I am. After years of gazing longingly at photos of neat little pussies without dangling lips, I’m about to have one of my own. I can picture exactly how I will look. My inner lips will just lightly ruffle along the outer lips, and not the other way around. For the past few weeks, every time I’ve been to the bathroom, I end up examining my lady lips. When I get undressed to shower, I play “let’s pretend”: I tuck the big parts in and smile at how it looks. I get excited about the surgery all over again.

All of a sudden, though, all I see are photos of big labia. They’re everywhere! (Have you seen Tumblr this week??) What if I miss mine when they’re gone? Will I spend the next twenty years mourning the loss of “a part of me”? Will I constantly be thinking or saying “I used to have big labia”? Will I regret this?

Feb 142012

My name is Sex Fairy and I have large labia.

IMG_6823I have REALLY large labia, actually. I always have. I always have as long as I can remember, anyway. I’ve always hated them, too. I used to daydream of asking my gynecologist if there was a medically necessary reason to have them cut off. That was just a daydream, of course.  An annual daydream. I mean, sure, I could just have them “reduced” at the cost of thousands of dollars for cosmetic surgery. Not an option, unfortunately.

This year, with my feet in the stirrups and his face peering between my knees, I actually gathered my courage and just asked the man. “Sooooo…I know this has been going around cosmetically, but is there any medically necessary reason that I could have these labia reduced?? <cringe>”

IMG_6824Imagine my surprise and elation when he answered without hesitation, “Sure. Labial Hypertrophy.” OH.MY.GOD. Why didn’t I ask ten years ago?? Fifteen?? I was overcome with excitement and absolute elation. The doctor then proceeded to describe the procedure to me, how he would mark, match, trim, and stich, all the while flapping my lips around as a demonstration with his gloved hands. I wanted to laugh out loud, partially at the image – the gloves pulling my labia left, right, back and forth – and partially at my silliness in waiting so long to ask. (The truth is that I probably wanted to laugh out loud IN GIDDY JOY!) I almost danced out of the office, I was so excited. I’ve managed to tell way too many people about this surgery in the past two weeks, but in the same vein, I’m way too excited about it! I feel like this is a dream come true, and naysayers be damned.

I’m counting down now…it’s just over one week until I lose these lips.
Follow along as The Pussy Prettification Project is in full effect.