I’ve missed this blog. I’ve wanted to write…no, really. I have. It’s just a case of so much REAL SHIT happening. I mean REAL LIFE stuff. Most of it has been good, but it’s all been very time consuming. We’ve been very busy (and naughty) all summer long. So busy that we’ve had no time to write.
Seriously…
Fucking, drinking, testing new sex toys, traveling, looking sexy, being funny…MYGOD it’s SO.MUCH.WORK.
conversation following a recent FMF NaughtySpot adventure:
Whitman: “Your pussy feels much better than hers, by the way.”
Sex Fairy: “Really? Awww, thanks! But hers is so much cuter – it’s all tucked in.
Mine’s so crazy with my labia hanging out!”
Whitman: “Yes, but with yours you know exactly what you’re getting.”
I use SwiftKey “smart keyboard” for my phone. It ‘learns’ words and phrases that I use, and offers them to me as I type — a little more reliably than regular predictive text. Sometimes. Sometimes I think it’s making jokes at my expense, or I’m a slutty drunk. Maybe both.
I started typing “Enjoy your first day of v…”
(where ‘v’ = ‘vacation’).
My phone’s #1 suggestion?
VODKA.
Yes, friends, enjoy your FIRST DAY OF VODKA.
I started typing ‘Get your butt…’
(intended phrase = ‘get your butt to school!’)
My phone’s first suggestion for the next word in this phrase?
PLUG.
GET YOUR BUTT PLUG??
Am I really that easy? Probably.