Evolution of Submission

 Fairy Dust, lovegasm  1 Response »
Apr 072011
 

Whitman and I were talking last night, and I began to reminisce about our first date(s). Somehow, rapidly (but not shockingly) the conversation turned to sex. We were talking about the new Naughty Points system that he instituted, and I told him how surprised I was by it.
I also told him how glad I was that he surprised me with it. And how hot it made me.

I earned points before I even knew we had a point system! He posted here about it, and I read the rules along with the rest of the world. It was perfect that way – the Whitman Sneak Attack. I had no time to ponder, dwell, or fret over the impending system. It caused me to IMMEDIATELY snap to attention, and focus my mind on HIM/us/my wet cunt. (I DO NOW have time to ponder and fret over impending punishments, though… When? What? How much?)

This may seem out of line to some people in D/s relationships where everything is negotiated and spelled out in advance. To me, this was just another example of the perfect evolution of our relationship, and especially the evolution of the KINKY parts of our relationship. It’s like Whitman just KNOWS me…maybe better than I know my SELF (and he’s right. As usual.
I DEFINITELY need some re-training).

I’ve always had a predilection for submissive sex, but shared that with very few people.
I’ve never explored it fully. I wondered out loud to Whitman how it even came up in our relationship. We’ve always been wide open emotionally and sexually with each other. I guessed THAT’S how it came up.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Whitman, though, reminded me that I had started dropping hints early on, and he took it from there. (He’d grasped my hands in a certain way over dinner…I asked him about it the next day. He claimed it was innocent; I still think he knew what he was doing…even subconsciously).

It has progressed from that ‘innocent’ hand-grab, to light restraint and spanking to heavier restraint, heavier physical torment, sensory deprivation, breath play, denial (of whatever), etc., etc., etc.…
It’s like a never-ending flow of ideas and exploration.
I want it to keep going and growing. Forever.
I want to be everything to him. (We do have a very real relationship OUTSIDE of Dom/sub sex, but it is so fluid. We move from one to the other and back effortlessly.)

69_in_contemplation_lrgRight now, I want to explore further a service-oriented submission…kneeling at his feet, sucking his cock while he works, doing his bidding at mealtimes, crawling, corseted on hands and knees to bring him the belt to spank me. You know, just regular stuff. ;) I want to get to a really deep place of submission…to be able to stop battling with my ‘real world’ self about what’s okay and what’s acceptable, and just let. it. go.

I really, REALLY want to get to a place where I can FULLY appreciate his pleasure for just what it is, and focus on that… For instance, if he WANTS or NEEDS to have sex with someone else, (or wants ME to have sex with someone else, for that matter), I want to WANT THAT for him. That part might take me a while, but I’m working on it.

Whitman On Top

 sexy sex  3 Responses »
Mar 092011
 

I was on my belly, and his full weight was on top of me, his hard cock deep inside of me, and his right arm around my neck, gripping my left shoulder. His sexy voice, so deep already, was ragged and rumbly with desire. “The next time I want to fuck another woman, what are you going to do? You’re going to watch. Maybe I’ll tie you to a chair and let you watch me fuck her cunt and her face. Then I’ll cum all in her pussy and let you clean it up. Would you like that? To clean my cum from her cunt with your tongue?” I could only nod. I might have managed a little whimper.

(When Whitman takes control of my body, he takes control of my mind, and my mouth. I can’t talk. I can THINK what I want to say, but it won’t come out. )

He continued, “Then you can clean her juices off of my cock. Maybe I’ll cum on her face instead, and you can clean that up with your mouth. Would you like that?” Again, a whimper and a nod from me. “The next time I see someone I want to fuck, you’re going to go talk to her, and make it happen. If you don’t, I’ll fuck your mouth so hard that you’ll be wishing you HAD done it with every breath that you try to take,” he said. “You’ll be gasping for air while I fuck your face, and you’ll be wishing you had actually put my cock IN HER CUNT, and licked her clit while I fucked her.” I whimpered in agreement.

( I was already breathless with desire at this point, and being pinned under him with pressure on my throat from his forearm only added to my breathlessness. And my desire.)

As he fucked me from behind and growled these directions in my ear, my juices puddled in the bed below me. I was dripping wet, and the more he talked, the wetter I got. I was picturing his gorgeous cock pounding a stranger’s pussy while I helplessly watched. “Maybe I’ll find a couple where the woman is the Dom and you and her man can sit together and watch like good little subs while we fuck.”

The next day he said of our  ‘discussion’ (as he called it – so sexy),
“Tell me quickly what you remember.”  I recounted the story above.
Whitman said, “I’m glad you were listening.”

Sleep Choking

 sexy sex  No Responses »
Feb 192011
 

We were snuggled up in my bed, on the verge of sleep. It had been a long and exciting weekend of traveling, eating, drinking, and sexy sex, and we were totally exhausted, physically, emotionally, and sexually. Finally, we were comfy and relaxed in the dark after a bottle of wine. I was on my back, and he was on his side, with his arm across my chest. “I sort of feel like masturbating,” I said. “Mmmmm, go ahead if you want, I don’t mind,” he mumbled through sleepy eyes and lips.  I was gently touching myself with two fingers, just enjoying the feel of skin-on-skin. After hours of car travel wearing blue jeans, the touch of my fingertips on my lips felt like the sweetest caress ever. His breathing grew heavy near my ear, but not from desire. It was heavy with sleep. He was almost snoring, but not quite, and somehow the sound made me INCREDIBLY HOT!

Within a few seconds, I was feeling the need…the need to cum, not just to tease my lips. As I started rubbing my clit faster and harder, his breathing was heavy, but as I got close to climax, he stirred. He DIDN’T WAKE, but his breathing became more regular, and his hand that was gently resting on my far shoulder began to move, ever so slightly. His hand moved to my throat.  He squeezed my whole neck slightly, then adjusted his hand to get a better grip on my trachea. I could still breathe, but DEFINITELY knew there was a grip on my airway. I came, breathing heavily, shuddering, whimpering, spasming. His hand relaxed. I wanted it again. I revved up the stroking again. And  once again, his hand clamped down on my neck. The fact that even in his sleep, he could reach out and control my breathing, that he could know what I needed even then…??
How could he??!! It didn’t matter, it made me cum even harder.
How could he?? Because I’m his.