I was at the gym today, doing girlie gym-things like cruising on the elliptical machine while listening to Eminem, when even over the music in my headphones I heard what sounded like a woman GIVING BIRTH. I looked in the mirror, and sure enough I could see the woman behind me working with a trainer. She was just GRUNTING and GROANING, and MOANING. She REALLY sounded like she was birthing. This was (not surprisingly) the same woman who I’d heard a few minutes earlier loudly whining and begging while running on the treadmill. (THAT incident made me want to laugh out loud, by the way…)
“Is she serious?” I thought. Why would someone do something so personal (or something that SOUNDS so personal) in public? I started thinking about the things I’d rather do in private that involve grunting, groaning and moaning, as well as whining and begging:
- Birth. Private.
- Embarrassing-noise-inducing exercise (girlie exercise doesn’t count. See above.)
Definitely not in public. - Sex. Sex noises. Embarrassing sex noises. I like to keep them to myself.
Public sex? Not me. Maybe this is part of the reason that (even though I REALLY DO live to please sexually) I’ve never really been that into group sex…because other people ARE THERE, watching and listening. I want to give myself over to the moment with complete abandon and not worry about who’s watching or who’s listening. My focus is on ONE PERSON. For the same reason, I’ve also never really thought the idea of sex at a swingers’ club would be that fun. I know Whitman wants to try it…he wants to try EVERYTHING, and I’m game to try EVERYTHING with him. Hmmmm…
I guess when the time comes, I’ll just have to BE QUIET.